Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Story Developer #3: Structural Overview

This is the third in the series for Story Developer. I have set the Hangout tentatively on March the 5th at 10 am Pacific. Let me know if that is a problem for anyone.

Cherrie's Blizzard Template for Scrivener
Story Dev #2: Structural Overview

Techniques of the Selling Writer by Dwight Swain

Labyrinth the Movie


  1. Setup: William has survived and done well in battle, but his older brother, Barnaby, has not. His brother’s reward is a state funeral with all its pomp and circumstance. William returns from the funeral to discover his reward is a present from the King—a woman. Dressed wholly in red, and veiled she sits quietly on his bed in his chamber. He has never looked upon the face of any woman other than his mother and sister, and is not even sure how to approach this one. She brings an era of joy to his life he never imagined and when she announces she has conceived a child he is beyond ecstatic, thanking the Goddess and the King. His joy is short lived as he starts to show the early signs of Plague. The medic-priest makes the death sentence pronouncement and he is not even able to say good by to his dear sweet wife. Instead, the King commands that in the next battle with the invading aliens, he sacrifice himself and allow himself to be taken prisoner. Barely able to lift the sword he fakes battle until he is surrounded by three of the insectile creatures and then he is taken to what must be his doom.

    Response: Beyond the view of his people the aliens remove their masks and he realizes they are not some alien animal but women. Women fighting. Almost worse than aliens. They take him to their golden city filled with magic William has never seen before. Here, women walk among men, their faces uncovered, and preform all manner of work. There are racing horseless carriages and flying machines, and moving images on walls. Sorcery far too powerful for his people to defeat. They take him to a building full of bed chambers and do ritual to him and he is sure they have sacrificed his blood to their evil Goddess. But he does not die. He starts to feel better. And none of these strange being sicken or show any signs of the plague. When finally they give him a magical amulet to allow him to hear their odd speak, he begins to understand they have cured him. Now a prisoner, me must find a way to escape and warn his people they are fighting witchcraft far beyond their ability. They must retreat and make peace or be doomed by these people.

    Attack: The Oracle has taken a keen interest in him, more so than any of the other prisoners. She explains that their culture is built off science, a science of the mind and the minds effects on reality. Until recently they were unaware of William’s people. They have a serious of discussions about his people and his way of thinking. [Will need to be careful here. This could become too preachy.] William becomes aware that these people think of him and his people as a primitive sort of nonhuman. His people have not developed the ability to manipulate reality and to see cooperation over competition as a value. He realizes, somehow, he is integral to that decision but he can’t see how. The Oracle explains about something called a gene and about sociopaths being in the gene pool, but he can not comprehend what all this means. They are deciding how to address his people—whether to bring them into their world which is full of wonders, or to keep them separate. In the meantime, he misses his wife and is uncomfortable with some aspects of this life and becoming accustomed to other aspects of this life.

    Resolution: The Oracle decided their races should be separate for now. But she has decided that the war should end and William’s people should be educated in the science of the world. They will be kept separate unless they decide to succumb to the breeding program that wiped out the sociopathic gene. She sends him back to his people and alters reality to make him their king.

  2. Alternative setup from the advanced society POV:

    After the apocalypse, a fort cares for the last of the delicate spices and excludes the brutish world around by means of a fort.

    This society comes to realize the power of thought after experiments done in our time about global consciousness and random number generation, prescience around 911 event, research with sexual images and prescience. They have refined and used this knowledge and exclude those with violent thoughts. This allows them to manipulate the future for their own benefit. Trade with the outside is possible but always leads to armed conflict. The Oracle realizes that the future must be manipulated for the outsiders benefit so they may become peaceful as well.

    Meanwhile, in the primitive feudal society outside the gates, new leader asks a high ranking young soldier to infiltrate the fort and steal the secrets of the spices. He discovers that the spices need care and tending and a stable society to flourish—They are too delicate for any other society. He falls in love with the military leader of the society and with the society itself, eventually forsaking his own culture and his own wife outside the gates.

  3. Sweet Luna Dreams

    Setup: Rhea has finished High School with high honors and has joined Luna Securities as a new recruit sworn to protect her fellow Lunie’s for enemies foreign and domestic. Only her dad knows of her decision as her mother and brothers believe that taking an oath is against God’s will. The day before Rhea is scheduled to report, she decides to attend church with her mother.

    Response: Rhea’s oldest brother claims he is the head of the family to include his divorce mother and Rhea. Since Rhea is under 18 he sends her to a church camp until she comes of age a month away. This set off a massive search for the AWOL Rhea who’s been hidden deep under Luna’s surface.

    Attack: Rhea is held against her will. All her rights are taken away, its only after she confuses her sins of premarital sex that she gets a few of her rights back. She learns how to climb the ladder to get her freedoms back without losing her sanity.

    Resolution: Along the way Rhea understands that she is somehow the key to get back on Earth, that has been shielded against humanity. Her collective friends sabotage the church camp and upset a plot to destroy the Luna colony as the radical preacher plans his escape to start the second Garden of Eden.


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